I don’t know about you, but there will always be this one guy who will forever hold the reign of my biggest childhood crush. And no, he wasn’t a celebrity!
But the thing about him, and really any crush in general, is that you can’t seem to pinpoint a reason as to why they hold the honorary title of being your crush. Yet maybe that’s just it.
You see, I never thought that at twenty years young, I would still be the girl burying my head behind my hair and my hands at just the thought of a guy. Therefore I must ask:
What makes a crush so… crushing?
The first step is acceptance– so I might as well just come out and say that I may like this guy. But now what?
There’s just something about that feeling that makes us go (slightly) crazy– and being the control freak I am, it kills me that someone has caused me to be so out of my element. By having these feelings for him, I feel out of control, vulnerable, and as if I’m losing a bit of myself. I find myself questioning why I have allowed a single person to cause me to blush and act extremely awkward in social situations involving them.
I think we all naturally define our attractions as a bad thing, because we cannot help but strive to protect ourselves against the butterflies in our stomachs and unknowns of unrequited infatuations. But again, why? The object of my affection shouldn’t make me mad just because I let myself go a bit mad thinking about him. It’s not him making me feel this way, it’s me. And that’s infuriating.
But then it hit me after playing Nancy Drew and trying to unveil the answers to my questions that are unseemly mysteries in my book, that my blushing and awkwardness might be my fault. I should never allow anyone to have this power over me – especially when I’m the one giving it to them of my own free will.
Maybe the trick to conquering the overwhelming power of our infatuations is to accept that the only person overwhelming us is ourselves. And next time I find myself hiding behind my hair, no matter how charismatic and “dreamy” he may be, I hope I remember that, and stand a little taller.
As many times as I’ve had a crush on someone, is so hard to wrap my feelings into even a sentence…You described perfectly what a crush is and what every girl is, well i know that’s what I feel, when they have a crush on someone. You are so good! I can’t wait to read more of your articles! :)
love,
You Long Lost Sister ;)
Joana, it means the world that you’ve enjoyed this article and are excited to read more! Thank you so much for your support! :)