To The Nice Guy Who Hit On Me

Look, I’m flattered. I think it’s lovely that you think I’m attractive and wanted to talk to me for hours on end, and it was a nice way to pass a rather boring chunk of time. But that doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to you.

Your attempts to hit on me were, rather embarassingly, transparent. Not that that’s a bad thing, but perhaps my attempts to rebuff you should have been just as transparent. I don’t think you picked up on my subtlety. Again, that’s OK. Not everyone goes for subtlety and I have nothing against that.

But you’re not what I’m looking for. Yes, you were nice and pleasant, congenial, but also about as interesting as last week’s toast. You’re just not what I’m looking for. Believe me. And you’re not the first nice guy that’s hit on me, I seem to attract them somehow. Which is really strange, because I’ve been told before that I give off a vibe that says “Please stay away from me, don’t hit on me, I’m not looking for a relationship.” Perhaps you just weren’t aware of this and didn’t pick up on it? No matter, I’m not mad.

What does irk me, though, is that I know your type. You’re the guy who, while actually a genuinely nice person and not a slimebag faux-“nice guy,” will still lament not having a girlfriend, claim that all the girls just want dangerous bad boys and you’ve got no chance, feeling sorry for yourself and dwelling on your failures, rather than getting on with your life and improving yourself as a person.

Perhaps this is why I found you so boring. I have a friend who, while quite a bit more interesting than you, fit the same sort of mold. He did the exact same thing, and continued to do so, until he found a girlfriend. Someone who was looking for his type. But he also found her by trying to broaden his horizons when he started a comedy Twitter account to showcase his one-liners and quips.

The thing that the nice guys I’ve encountered so far don’t seem to realize is that not every girl is looking for a cookie cutter nice guy to treat her like a queen and shower her with affection every day and live in a nice house with a white picket fence and have 2.5 children, like you intimated to me that you would like to do. I certainly don’t want that, it sounds like my own personal level of Dante’s “Inferno.”

Just because a girl seems like she would fit in with your ideal future doesn’t mean that you fit hers. And again, that’s okay, that’s more than okay, that’s part of life. But what you don’t seem to get is that you should be looking for girls whose futures fit with yours, not ones that you can fit into your future. There’s a big difference, even if it’s not quite obvious at first. However, when I started telling you my grand dreams and outlandish career aspirations, I would have thought you would notice that I’m not exactly “normal.” However, you instead decided to tell me that my dreams “aren’t very likely.”

So, better luck next time, perhaps you’ll find a girl with more likely dreams that are more your style.

View Comment (1)
  • “To The Nice Guy Who Hit On Me” : Wonderful article, wishing it were longer so I might have learned more about the asexual segment of the worlds population – to be honest this is the first time I have been introduced to this….
    Secondly, and equally important, was the quality of the writing – something one does not often find on the Internet.


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