About a month ago, I wrote an article listing, and debunking just a small chink of sex myths that many educated, and fully sexual adults still believe in. Well, it wasn’t too hard to go deeper and come up with some more sex myths. Read on, as there’s at least one that could make your sex life a little bit more pleasurable, and another that will (hopefully) stop guys from fussing so much.
1. The majority of women can reach an orgasm solely from vaginal sex
Just because a guy will get an orgasm from vaginal sex, doesn’t mean a woman will. Even if she does orgasm during basic penile-vaginal sex, we can’t assume that the orgasm is happening solely because she is having vaginal sex. Dr. Elisabeth Lloya analyzed 33 scientific studies for her book, The Case of the Female Orgasm. Dr. Lloyd came to the conclusion that a whopping 75% of women do not, I repeat do not reliably, and consistently experience orgasms during intercourse. Only one-quarter of women orgasm from vaginal sex on a consistent basis–vaginal sex isn’t imperative to a female orgasm. What is a reliable source of orgasm for most women? Direct stimulation of the clitoris. You can stimulate the tip, or outer part of the clirois, or else the inner clitoris “by manipulating, displacing, and exploring the vagina with a penis or other apparatus”
2. Size matters
Maybe the size matters or it doesn’t; perhaps you have a preference for girth over length or vice versa. In a study that measured over 15,000 penises, the average penile length was found to be at 13.12 cm., or just a shade over 5 inches (5.16). Ultimately, sexual satisfaction boils down to personal preference, both physical and personal satisfaction with your partner, satisfaction of the relationship (if applicable), and intimacy.
A different study, published in Psychology of Men and Masculinity, says “most women (84%) were satisfied with their partner’s penis size, only 14% wanted their partner to be larger, and 2% wanted their partner to be smaller. A much higher percentage of women were satisfied with their partner’s penis size than the percentage of men who were satisfied.” With over 80% of ladies happy with their guy’s dick size, size doesn’t seem to matter all that much after all.
3. Women and men have different “sexual peaks”
We’ve have all heard this: men are raging, lustful sex machines in their late teens and early twenties, while women are doe-eyed and unassuming until they hit their mid-thirties. Is this true? Not likely, as it based from out of date information, and not everything is taken into account.
News Alert (not really): Women like sex, just like men do. They desire it long before they start craving babies (assuming they even want babies). A women’s sexual peak isn’t tuned in with a biological clock, so to speak. Instead, it is tuned in to her sexual and physical confidence, sex drive, personal sexual awareness (what she likes, doesn’t like), and emotional connection to her partner. This holds true for the guys as well. It may not be sometime in her late twenties until she knows exactly what she likes during sex and is happy with her body, or it could happen while in college. Sex therapist Dr. Jane Greer also makes an important point worth remembering: “To say [in your 20’s] is the ‘peak,’ though, and where it’s going to stop, is not realistic. It’s not a mountain where it will all go downhill from here; it’s simply at a high point and can certainly stay high.”
For men, the magnitude of sexual desire was determined by Dr. Kinsey in his 1948 book “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” by the number of male orgasms per week. Dr. Kinsey is largely responsible for the long-held theory about sexual peaks. But is penis performance the best or only way to measure sexual desire, and sexual peak? What about the desire to give (and receive–it’s not all about ejaculation) sexual pleasure, or a desire to focus on intimacy and sensuality rather than just the orgasm? Besides, just because an older penis may not be as responsive, it doesn’t mean the man still isn’t at a sexual peak. Dr. Debby Herbenick says “Do men have easier erections at 18 than age 70? Sure, but the sex may be more meaningful and satisfying at 70 than 18…Enjoyable sex can happen at any age. It’s rarely all physical or all emotional.”
To finish off, sociologist, Dr. Lisa Wade has this to say: “Instead of thinking about sexual peaks at all, perhaps we should use a different metaphor: sexual evolution. We are all forced to fight for our own sexualities, contending with cultural, interpersonal, psychological and physiological factors that conspire to limit our imagination. Instead of anticipating or mourning a golden time, the goal could be embracing our sexual experiences as they change throughout the life cycle, sometimes trading one good for another, but always with the aim of maximizing the good.”
4. A circumcised penis will affect sexual pleasure
Of all the myths on here, this is the one that has the most “scientific merit” to back it up. A Google search of “does circumcision affect pleasure” yields hundreds of thousands of results, all with mixed messages. Among these results, one medical study conducted in Belgium concludes that “circumcised men experience less intense sexual pleasure and orgasm than uncircumcised counterparts.”
However, a 2013 study published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health has largely disproved this theory by an analysis of 36 scientific studies. After sifting through 2,675 scientific studies, “describing the effects of male circumcision on aspects of male sexual function, sensitivity, sensation, or satisfaction,” the researchers found 36 studies that contained original data. These studies “reported a total of 40,473 men, including 19,542 uncircumcised and 20,931 circumcised.” Ordering the studies by highest quality studies, the researchers concluded that the studies that were not (or the least) flawed or biased found “no adverse effect on sexual function, sensitivity, sexual sensation, or satisfaction” in men with circumcised penises.
Remember the Belgium study? That was later debated by other scientists, who say the study was “flawed.” Today, fewer American parents are opting to circumcise their newborn boy, with 55% circumcising in 2007. It is ultimately up to the parents and the boy when it comes to circumcision. But don’t take sexual pleasure into account.
5. Some sex positions increase likelihood of getting pregnant with a girl, others getting a boy
Browsing through reputable sources quickly disproves this, yet it remains popular. I know many hopeful parents yearn for a certain gender over the other, but no matter how you do it, you won’t influence the gender of your baby. So stop trying it from behind or while standing to up your odds for a boy (as one website advises), while doing it missionary or with the woman on top isn’t going to make conceiving a girl any more likely.
If you’re truly determined to influence the gender, it’s about timing, but even this is still very ineffective, according to Harvard Health Publications. Sperm with X-chromosomes (“female sperm”) live longer than Y-chromosome carrying sperm. Having sex a day or two before ovulation means many of the “male sperm” will have died out by the ovulation, leaving more “female sperm” and only slightly tipping the odds to conceive a girl. If you want a boy, try having sex right when you ovulate. Since the “male sperm” swim a tad faster* than the “female sperm,” the boys may possibly get to the egg first.
*Even this is in dispute. The theory that male sperm swim faster was developed in 1960, but through computer assisted sperm analysis, this has been disproved.
Are there any other sex myths that you think I may have missed? No myth is too far fetched or sticky for me, so comment or tweet us at @litdarling.