By Charmaine Belonio
Being excited and enthusiastic about your new relationship is only natural. Feeling like you’re in cloud nine with every moment you’re with your new boyfriend? It’s not surprising! After all, who knows if the guy you now see as your significant other is the better half you’ve been looking for all along?
However, getting all too worked up about your new SO to the point of wanting to marry him during the first few weeks of the relationship can turn a sweet beginning to an abrupt and sour ending. So exercise caution and moderation in all things and avoid committing the following mistakes new couples are guilty of in new relationships.
Discussing about settling down.
You haven’t even met his family yet or talked about moving in together. Aside from a couple of dates which made you discover that his favorite food is Chinese takeout and one of his pet peeves is flying cockroaches, you don’t know much about him, making topics like walking down the aisle inappropriate and too soon. It’s OK to have fantasies about your future together but it’s best to keep them to yourself at this stage.
Ditching your BFFs.
It’s understandable if you want to spend every waking moment with your new boyfriend. But forgetting your pre-planned girls night out with your besties just because you’re no longer part of the single club is downright disrespectful to them. You’re not even sure of your beau yet. Even so, you ought to honor your commitments with the girls who’s been there for you when you’re single AF.
Giving it your all.
Sacrificing your personal time, money, and resources for your new boyfriend’s sake isn’t cool. It’s called going overboard. Whether new or old relationships, you know the drill: You’ve got to leave something for yourself because #selfcare. You shouldn’t give up close friends, move to another state or country, or switch jobs until you’re certain that your boyfriend can make the same huge sacrifices for you, too.
Being absurdly clingy.
While your affection for your new beau is appreciated, he’ll feel suffocated if you start clinging to him like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t bombard him with text messages and calls just because he hasn’t replied within a minute to your text message. He may think of you as the crazy girlfriend and that’s not the kind of impression you want to create early in the relationship.
Stalking your partner on social media.
So curiosity kicked in and you began to do some detective work online. You checked out Google and his social media account’s posts and photos. Whatever your reason for doing this, the best way to find out things you wanted to know is to ask. He’d appreciate that rather than you snooping around as if he’s some criminal. Plus, cyber stalking is creepy.
Making your partner make choices he didn’t have to make.
Because you’ve fallen hard and fast, you then started obsessing on your new beau’s priorities in life. So you initiated the talk and made him choose between you, and other important people and things to him: his family, friends, and career. This is a big no-no. Your relationship is just new so you can’t expect him to choose you. More than that, what good partner would make his other half make choices he didn’t necessarily need to make? Makes sense?
Wanting your partner to have the same beliefs as yours.
Be it religion, politics, or anything that you’re passionate about, preaching on your partner just because he does not believe on the same things you value is all kinds on wrong. Two reasons: respect and compromise. You didn’t want him imposing on beliefs on you this early in the relationship, right?
Sacrificing your me time.
Unless your new boyfriend is the crazy one, he’ll understand when you need to take some time off to recharge. Me time helps you stay sane and empowers you to be your best self, so you can give more in the relationship, especially now that it’s just beginning to blossom. So embrace your me time amidst your new-found relationship. He’ll get it because he knows he needs it as much as you do if you want a badass union.
Charmaine Belonio is a twenty-something freelance writer and blogger from Manila, Philippines. She is obsessed with long distance running, coffee, Tolkien, and Switchfoot. Follow her on Twitter @OrganizedLunacy or visit her personal blog
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