Your life is falling apart. You’re buried under your student loans, your job is hell with no real living wage in sight, and you haven’t had any sort of sleep or sex in you can’t remember how long. Then comes the worst of it. That one circumstance or predicament that completely tips the scales and all at once it all becomes too much to bear. How can you keep at bay your anxieties and fears in the midst of all the chaos?
I’ll have you know I have 23 years of first hand experience curbing my bad luck and nervous breakdowns to make things easier to exist. I’m willing to share my secrets with you now in order to try to help restore some peace, balance, and sanity back into your day to day hell.
Look Into All Possible Solutions
Just Google ideas of ideas of how to solve the most urgent problems at hand. Sometimes the overwhelming amount of information can cause a spur of the moment panic attack just from the sheer volume of probable ways you can strategize a formidable resolution. That’s okay. The most important knowledge you’ll take away from this is that there are solutions out there. They may take more time or effort than you’re currently able to give, but very scarcely is there only one way out of a predicament.
Take a Random, Impromptu International Trip
Trust me, this option is not only for the financial elite. Go directly to the airport with only the necessities, take the cheapest flight available and for a 48 hour adventure. Stay in a motel or hostel. Eat cheap, disgusting, unrecognizable food. Walk the streets, parks, and museums. You’ll see a whole lifestyle regardless of where you choose to go where you’ll be forced to make quick decisions in order to make the most out of your trip. In the moment handling pertinent issues like where you’ll stay for the night or how to get around in an unfamiliar area will demonstrate you are capable of facing a problem head-on (even if you don’t feel entirely up for it at the moment).
Make Yourself A Cup Of Tea
I was completely oblivious to the healing powers of tea until I moved overseas. I learned over time which brands I preferred, how much milk I liked, the perfect spoonful of sugar, and in what order to put them all in together. Making a cup of tea for yourself should always feel ritualistic. From the moment you start the kettle you know the exact steps needed to take in order to achieve the end result you’re searching for. The same is true of your f*cked up, dire situation. Start off slow by creating something comforting and take a moment to breathe.
Have A Reliable Reserve of Friends
You may have a childhood friend who know you inside out. Another who always knows how to break you out of your headspace. One more who intuitively knows how to make others feel special and needed. Give them all a call if you need to in order to help rationalize, brainstorm, and put some new perspective into your dire straits. You don’t need to give them all the details or invite them to join in on your wallowing. Just share what you can to lighten the load. They’ll be more understanding and glad you turned to them despite your brain telling you that no one wants to hear about your problems.
Go To Bed Early and Just Have A Cry
Then get yourself up the next day, make a pot of coffee, and start figuring out a course of action. Incrementally even you’ll feel measures better than lying around feeling totally crippled by overwhelming doubt. Sometimes though you’re going to need to let it all out in private while all your emotions feel like open wounds. If you can’t go to sleep right away just lie there and work on breathing normally (a much bigger feat that it sounds when faced against despondency). Most importantly calm yourself before making the next move. If something else goes awry or not exactly according to the plan you don’t want to end up once again feeling crushed.
Set Yourself A Schedule With An End Goal In Sight
Think about all the times that you missed an important deadline. I’m sure you didn’t feel any better after the date had passed, although you told yourself you had more pressing matters to take care of. The best part of setting deadlines is your in complete control of them. Hold yourself accountable to a schedule you can manage. Don’t worry yourself with all the messiness that comes in between you and what you need to get done. Effectively shut it down when you can and keep in the back of your head a date that you expect to complete your task. Make concrete plans to celebrate once you’ve hit a milestone. Think about what it takes to get to the point where everything would go back to being okay (not even good, just not this bad) and hustle your way to it.
Put Down Everything And Do Now What Could Distract You Later
I always need a clean space in order to be productive. Although my room or flat may be a complete wreck, looking at that unmade bed or papers scattered on the floor will only cause annoyance once I put my mind towards a goal. I’d rather tidy as quickly as possible and minimize any chance of snowballing later from washing the dishes, to watching TV, to finishing that book I got from the library. Take care of the little things that are weighing on your mind to re-establish a better balance between your obligations.
Yes Mindy Lahiri was correct in believing that lying on the floor of your office wasn’t such a bad way to deal with your problems. Find a place to just lay down for a moment. Stare at the ceiling while you ponder the meaning of life and give in to just a little bit of self pity. Then get back on your feet because girl you got this.
Of course this isn’t really life advice as much as sharing with you my process of recovery when everything goes wrong. You probably do most of these things on your own and of course know you’re own resources that allow you to move on sensibly. Take away that you are not the only one who feels completely confused all the time. Everyone around you is struggling too and they all feel like they might be shattered from the inside out more often than they’d probably like to admit. When you feel like your life is falling apart do not feel ashamed. Do not feel empty. Figure it all out in your own time, in your own way.
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