10 (Passive Aggressive) Thank You Notes To My Roommates

To anyone who’s ever had a roommate, it’s safe to say that all is fair in love and a shared lease.

Maybe you found your roommate through a college admittance random-name-from-a-hat system, maybe you’re each other’s BFF with matching string bracelets and coordinating monogrammed coffee mugs, or maybe you’re the second cousin of your friend’s, sister’s boyfriend. Whatever it may be, four walls shared, paperwork signed, and 12 months later, lives have intertwined. And to the people in my life who have come and gone as roommates, I just have to say…

  1. Thank you for dating a guy who bought you a jumbo size Costco quantity of Ramen that you were so willing to share.
  2. Thank you for unclogging the bathtub drain and refilling the toilet paper.
  3. Thank you for killing the bugs I was too scared to confront.
  4. Thank you for listening to the boy problems I was also too scared to confront, and for single-handedly texting those same boys and for reaffirming that they were the ones who made things weird for absolutely no reason at all, not me.
  5. Thank you for laughing at my dad jokes.
  6. Thank you for believing in me when I was convinced I could out-drink people twice my size, and thank you for taking care of me when that was quickly proven wrong.
  7. Thank you for having cute clothes in my size.
  8. Thank you for understanding that home is where the bras and the pants come off.
  9. Thank you for setting up your aux cord to our TV, so we could watch the entirety of R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet” music video as well as N*SYNC’s live from Madison Square Garden concert circa 2000.
  10. Thank you for keeping me sane when I probably absolutely left you feeling quite opposite.

And last but not least, thank you to Becky Simpson, graphic designer and short girl enthusiast, who inspired this article. Officially on sale today, The Roommate Book is an illustrated gift book uncovering all roommate matters of the heart from “How to build a cheese plate” to hard-hitting questions we’ve all wondered but never dared asked out loud like “Should I eat this without asking?” Using her sharp wit and adorable puns, Simpson tackles everything there is to know about the people we share a roof with through comical pie charts, flowcharts, bucket lists, and illustrations galore as vivid and bright as her optimism and sense of humor.

So pay your bills on time keep calm, and be kind to your roommates (by giving them this book).

See Also
person in white shirt with brown wooden frame

Illustrations by Becky Simpson

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