30 Thoughts I Had While Watching the Golden Globes

Last night, the 74th Golden Globe Awards took place in Los Angeles. As the world’s most glamorous celebrities gathered in a hotel ballroom, I watched from my couch in frigid Manhattan.

I think we know who the Best Comedy winner is based on this intro.

‘GAME OF THRONES’ SPOILER ALERT. I’ve been on Season 1, Episode 4 for 3 years, so that ship’s probably sailed.

Millie Bobby Brown is a gift from the gods. When is “Stranger Things” season 2?

Unscripted Jimmy Fallon is a much safer mistake than unscripted Ricky Gervais.

Never underestimate the dark humor of a room full of Hollywood Democrats.

New Bumble bio: Just looking for someone to pick the lint off my shoulder like Meryl’s husband

2003 Grace would not have have predicted that 2017 Grace would be watching Justin Timberlake and Mandy Moore at any award show.

The Reynolds Method: A Tale of Fake Tanning in Connecticut.
Guessing he’s just trying to blend in with a California winter?

Jimmy Fallon is now definitely on Mariah’s shit list.

And the winner for most terrifyingly real drama series goes to…
Gird your loins, 2017.

Is anybody else wondering if OJ gets to watch from prison?

Hmm “American Crime” and “American Crime Story” were both shows in 2016. Probably shouldn’t read too deep into that.

I have no idea what happened for the last minute but I do know Matt Bomer needs a much larger presence in all of our lives.

Somehow the Trump jokes feel too real coming from Hugh Laurie.

“The show gets a little boring right before 9 p.m. Maybe we should have Sofia make a few anal jokes?” Somebody at the HFPA, probably.

Apparently Michael Keaton and Jenna Bush Hager had a long in-depth conversation about this year’s breakout hit, Hidden Fences.

I may be as perplexed by actors who struggle to read teleprompters as Goldie Hawn is by teleprompters.

Ugh, Ryan Gosling. No those aren’t tears, that’s just my face sweating.

Kristen Wiig and Megyn Kelly have basically the same haircut now, just in case Lorne Michaels was wondering.

Yep, these are definitely tears.

Guessing Casey Affleck and Matt Damon have each sent at least three mean “We’re having a great time without you” texts to Ben.

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people sitting on a couch watching

Between the face and the French, definitely seeing how Taylor found herself deep in the middle of a Hiddleswift scenario.

Nobody should want anything more in life than to be someone’s Meryl and find their own Viola.

“Forgive me, I’ll have to read,” says the woman who rattles off no less than six fellow actors’ places of birth and never looks at the paper in her hand.

Trump may not like Hollywood, but Hollywood sure likes Hollywood.

One year later and there’s still no one, including Matt Damon, who understands exactly how The Martian was considered a comedy.

Brad Pitt’s here?! And didn’t walk the Red Carpet? Oh, yeah, actually that checks out.

SHOCKING TWIST: La La Land wins everything. Maybe just give them the Oscar now?

Manbun by the Sea, amiright? I hate myself.

Show’s over! Sit back, relax, and wait for the Trump tweet storm.

Images courtesy of Giphy.

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