What We Really Want For Valentine’s Day

You hear the words Valentine’s Day and a myriad of emotions, thoughts, and opinions come to mind. Maybe you’re on the side that feels it’s a made-up holiday that benefits corporate America. Or maybe you love love as you welcome all the heart decorations, candy, and roses galore. Or maybe to you it’s just another day of the year.

Whatever it may be, if you’re planning on celebrating and feeling a little stuck on what to get that special someone that isn’t a dozen roses or a heart-shaped box of chocolate, our darling writers have provided an itemized list. Hopefully it’s not too late

  • Trump’s impeachment and the fall of the patriarchy
  • Ways to Avoid People
    • Noise-cancelling headphones
  •  Unlimited access to books
    • Free books
    • All of the books
  • Uninterrupted sleep that lasts at least 8 hours (re: blankets and fluffy robes galore)
    •  Including the following accessories:
      •  Blankets
      • Big. Fluffy. Robes
      • A Pusheen onsie
  • Bottled Motivation
  • A job
    • Full-time
    • With benefits
    • And liveable pay
    • Vacation days
  • Sunshine > Grey skies
  • All of the food
    • The ability to eat all of the chocolate without breaking out
    • A big bowl of pho
    • The ability to never overcook
    • Packed lunches
    • Portable breakfast food
    • Pizza
    • Nutella
  • A massage
  • Laundry service
  • Money (re: rent money and the ability to erase student debt)
  • The ability to travel for free
  • The end of spam emails and phone calls
  • To pet all of the dogs
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