How to Keep a Long Term Relationship Healthy

The beginning of a new relationship feels so easy. You’re both excited about spending time together, and there is seems to be an endless supply something new to learn about the other person. But after a while, things slow down and you settle into a routine forced on you by the rigors of daily life – and that’s when problems start to arise. A lot of us struggle after a relationship reaches a year and we don’t know how to keep things going. It’s easy to start to wish things were like they were in the beginning and wonder if we really want to be with that person anymore. In some cases, it might just be that two people aren’t right for one another but more often than not, that isn’t the problem.

People expect relationships to be easy and they think that if you’re with the right person, you’ll love them forever without having to work at it. But that isn’t how relationships really work. If you’re going to stay together, you need to work to keep things fresh and remind one another why you fell in love in the first place. If you feel like your relationship is fading, these are some of the best things you can do to keep it alive.

Be Comfortable With Yourself

A lot of the time, the problems that people have in relationships aren’t problems with their partner, they’re problems with themselves. If you aren’t comfortable in your own skin and you rely on your partner to make you happy all of the time, your relationship will suffer. That doesn’t mean that your partner shouldn’t make you happy, of course they should, but you also need to be comfortable enough on your own. This is a particular problem for people that suffer with anxiety or depression because it’s difficult for their partner to deal with sometimes. If you feel that you aren’t comfortable and confident in yourself, it might not be the best time for you to be in a long term relationship, and you should consider working on yourself first.

Enjoy Time Apart


This is linked to the first point and it’s something that a lot of couples get wrong. Just because you love somebody and you want to spend your life with them, it doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip. Often, people have doubts about a relationship because they feel like they’re not their own person anymore and they stop doing a lot of the things that they enjoyed doing before they met their partner.

It’s important to remember that you’re still your own individual people and it’s ok if you have different interests. Enjoy that time apart doing things for yourself because it will strengthen your relationship. Regardless of how much you love somebody, when you’re with them all of the time you can still get on each other’s nerves so it’s a good idea to take a break for a while.

Show Each Other That You Care

At the beginning of a relationship, you both put a lot of effort into showing the other person that you care about them and you value them. But over time, that effort can fade and you can start to take one another for granted. If you want the relationship to last, it’s important that you don’t let that happen and you find small ways to show your appreciation. For example, when it comes to buying birthday or wedding anniversary gifts, don’t see it as an obligation that you have to fulfill. Think of it as an opportunity to really show them how much you care by putting real thought into your gifts. Buying small gifts or doing something special as a surprise is also a good way to show that you still care.

It’s not just about buying gifts either, it’s about the small things. If you can see that your partner is having a bad day, offer to cook dinner and do the dishes for them so they can relax. Showing them that you recognize their emotions and taking steps to make them feel better makes such a big difference.

Don’t Be Afraid To Tell The Truth (Even If It Hurts)

One of the most important things about having a long term relationship is being honest and this means when your partner is going through a rough time or you are struggling with something it’s important that you work through it together. A relationship is about facing the good times, but also the bad. When your partner is showing the signs of a mental health problem or any emotional issue, it’s important that you know when to speak up.

It’s also crucial to realize that you know when to get outside help.  If you or your partner are struggling with something like an addiction it’s important to know more about addiction and its symptoms but also have the courage to be upfront with each other if it’s affecting the relationship. Any unhealthy habits, whether it’s something extreme like addiction or something simpler, like being secretive, can be the undoing of any relationship. It’s important that you learn to not be afraid. If you are both keeping you distance from each other, resentment will build up. Learning to be honest with each other, even if it is not what the other person wants to hear at the time, is as important as supporting each other. 

Make Time For Dates

Photo by Jed Villejo on Unsplash

When couples move in together, the time that they spend together can quickly become stale. When you aren’t living together, you have to make time for one another and plan dates. But when you’re living together, it’s easy to get into a bit of a rut and just spend your nights at home in front of the TV. If you want to keep things alive, you need to set aside time for regular dates. It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant, just some quality time spent together doing something more interesting than just watching TV.

Do New Things Together

When you first meet somebody, there are so many new things to learn and so many new experiences to have together. But when you’ve been together for a while, it feels like you already know everything about one another and there’s nothing new to experience. But that’s only true if you let it be true. If you want to keep your relationship fresh and exciting, you need to make an effort to do new things together. If you travel to new places or take up new hobbies that you can do together, you’ll always be discovering new things about one another and having new experiences together.

Say Thank You

This is a small thing but it’s so important. When your partner does things around the house and you just take it for granted, it can really damage the relationship. It’s important that you let your partner know that you’re grateful for the things that they do with a simple thank you when they cook dinner or do the dishes etc.

If you think that a long term relationship is going to be easy and you won’t have to work hard at it, you’ll struggle to keep things going. It’s important that you’re doing these things every single day to show your partner how much they mean to you and to avoid getting into a rut.

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