80 Thoughts I Had Before My First Thanksgiving With The In-Laws

So it’s Thanksgiving. With my in-laws.

At least it’s not my parental in-laws; just brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

Or is she my sister-in-law-law? Since she’s married to my brother-in-law?

(Hehehe, in-law-law sounds funny.)

It doesn’t sound right, though. I need to look this up

Okay, co-sister-in-law, or just sister-in-law, looks like the most agreed upon terminology. But I’m gonna stick with sister-in-law.-law

Oh, and their kids will be there, too.

Four of them. Four. All under the age of 10.

Four kids at Thanksgiving.

With my in-laws. First official in-law holiday.

It’ll be good. I like them.

Just don’t talk politics.

Or my views on gun-control.

And hopefully they won’t ask us when we are having kids.

It should be fine if those topics are avoided.

Just focus on the good things: Thanksgiving food.

Mashed potatoes! Green bean casserole! And pie!

…I hope they remember I’m a vegetarian.

I know that they are taking care of the mashed potatoes, but honestly, I make the best mashed potatoes in the world.

*mouth waters thinking about mashed potatoes*

Should I offer to help cook?

I mean, I’ll want to help, I feel like I’m supposed to help, so I should help, right?

But I know my sister-in-law-law is like, a cooking and baking fiend. She makes magical, Southern, and ohmygoodness-I just-gained-ten pounds-from-this-one-bite-of-corn-casserole-but-I-don’t-care-because-it-is-so-damn-good type of food.

Ew, what if the pumpkin pie is being made from a can?

Really, there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just…I always make it from scratch.

But I’ll be the guest, so I shouldn’t complain.

Besides, that would seem as if I was being petty, or controlling, or stuck in my way.

Or ungrateful…

Which I’m not, obviously.

But it’ll be my Thanksgiving too, so I deserve to have something made the way I’m used to.

That’s it, I’ll help cook. I think I’m supposed to. Isn’t that expected out of the daughter-in-law/sister-in-law?

Yes, I think it is.

It definitely is.

Or maybe I’ll just sit on the couch, and watch T.V. That sounds like a safe choice.

Oh, I should put on a good movie for Thanksgiving!

Like, something Thanksgiving-themed.

But, there aren’t that many of them, are there? Kinda weird, considering there are a bazillion of Christmas and Halloween movies.

Scary Movie, Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus; Love Actually, Home Alone, Family Stone. And not one Thanksgiving movie comes to mind.

Maybe Pocahontas? That would be good.

But, we really did screw the Native Americans over, so maybe I should just stick to something family themed. Unless I want a heated and slightly drunk conversation on the topic of genocide, disease, stereotyping Native American mysticism, and colonialism to ensue.

Which sounds fun, but may not be. So I’ll go for family themed.

Although, there really should be more Thanksgiving movies. Family. Pilgrims. Being grateful. Turkeys. Ben Franklin. That sorta thing. Really, there are only so many times you can watch Charlie Brown miss that football.

Tom Hanks makes me think of family. I guess I’ll watch a Tom Hanks movie.

Tom Hanks seems so wholesome, and trustworthy.

Like a blanket. Tom Hanks is a soft, red, flannel blanket, that you want to cozy up with.

But just cozy up with, and chat to, nothing more.

Poor Tom, lacking on the sex appeal. Even in Big, he was never sexy. Plus, he was a teenage boy trapped in an adult body, so he was even less sexy.

Do you know who has sex appeal? Ryan Gosling.

Who doesn’t like looking at Ryan Gosling? I should def watch a movie with him, he’ll be a crowd pleaser.

I wonder if there is a Ryan Gosling meme about Thanksgiving?

Bless the internet for Ryan Gosling memes.

OK, so back to movie idea. Both Tom and Ryan are out. I’m going with Homeward Bound.

A story involving dogs, a cute cat, and love for a family? Totes perf.

Plus, I think it actually ends with a Thanksgiving scene.

Yep, I definitely remember Chance yelling “turkey.”

Maybe I’ve watched that movie one too many times, if I can recall that.

But…it’s really the most kid-friendly, Thanksgiving movie I can think of.

Besides Pocahontas.

“Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon/Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned/Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains/Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?”

LOL, remember when me and my roommate randomly started flashdancing to this in the college library? That was pretty great.

Oh, and hipster Pocahontas.

Maybe I need to reconsider Pocahontas.



But in all likelihood, this is probably what will happen.

I really, really don’t care for football. Thank goodness my husband doesn’t, as well.

I feel like five minutes in a football game is 20 in actual time.

I don’t even know the last time I watched a Super Bowl game.

Maybe it was in college. But only half of it. The commercials were better than the game.

Especially the Budweiser commercials with the dog! Those were heart-wrenching.

Even so, dogs, and horses have nothing to do with football. Which makes it boring again.

And to have a football game on, and not watch a movie, and probably have to help cook?!?

But I like cooking, remember that.

And it’s time to stop seeing myself as an outsider, and instead, as part of my new family.

Because, it is Thanksgiving, after all.

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