Being a mother is one of the hardest things you will ever do. There is no denying that motherhood is filled with love, laughter, and can be incredibly rewarding in the most unexpected of ways. Despite this, it is still pretty tough.
This is why moms often feel like they are constantly getting things wrong. If they are working moms, they may feel like they aren’t spending enough time with their kids. Stay-at-home moms may feel judged about how they lead their lives. And, every mother in the world has felt they were doing something wrong at one time or another.
Well, enough is enough – it is time to do away with all this guilt! If you are tired of constantly feeling guilty for how you’re raising your kids, here are the steps that you should take.
Understand That No Two Kids are Alike
You will find several other parents and “experts” that will tell you exactly what you should be doing. And, if you are forced to switch things up because that method doesn’t work on your child, you may feel as though you have failed.
Well, here’s a newsflash for you: all kids are different. This means that they need different kinds of things in life. For instance, experts agree that breast milk is one of the best sources of nutrition for infants. However, some moms aren’t able to breastfeed or aren’t producing enough milk to keep their hungry baby satisfied.
Now, in times such as these, there is no point beating yourself up about what you can’t do. Instead, just accept the fact that formula can be just as nourishing. And, instead of worrying about your breast milk supply, just look for the best brands with the help of this online guide.
You shouldn’t listen to other people’s opinions, especially when they don’t understand what you’re going through. As long as your doctor has given you the green light, you just need to focus on doing what is right for your little ones.
Appreciate That It is Quality and Not Quantity That Matters
The modern woman feels like she has to do it all. She has to be great at her job, spend hours with her kids, work out several times a week, and host and socialize. Needless to say, there isn’t enough time in a day for you to do it all.
In fact, many moms struggle to find time to spend hours with their kids. It just isn’t possible to do this every day. Well, the numbers are in and there is great news for you – the amount of time you spend isn’t what counts – it is the quality.
So, don’t worry about spending a set amount of time with your kids every day. Instead, focus on how you can make the time you spend with them as special as possible. Make sure that your interactions are filled with love, support, and everything important that your child needs from you.
Ditch the Vision of Perfection
A decade or so ago, the only mothers that you came into contact were your friends, family members, and colleagues. And, because there were no secrets between you, they probably told you exactly how they were faring. As such, you could commiserate. At the very least, you got to see how frazzled and overwhelmed they looked.
Social media, however, robbed you of this imperfect version of moms. These days, there are hundreds of accounts of moms looking absolutely perfect. They, their kids, and their homes may look as though they belong on the cover of a magazine.
They probably wax poetic about the various activities they accomplished within a day. Each meal may look like a masterpiece and will consist of exotic veggies that your kids wouldn’t even look at. Next to them, you may feel frumpy, underachieving, and like a bad mom.
The truth, though, is that the perfect mom is an illusion. You can guarantee that the Instagram mom has dealt with at least a few tantrums and screaming matches. Even if they haven’t, so what? There is no guarantee that their kids are going to turn out amazing. This is because there is no formula for getting motherhood right.
This is why you need to get rid of this idea of perfection. If you love your kids and you are doing your best, this is your version of perfection. It is all that your kids need from you.
Focus on How You Are a Good Mom
Rather than comparing yourself to other moms, take a moment to list out your own accomplishments. Think about all the ways you have been a good mom. If you’re having trouble coming up with compliments, let your partner or kids chime in.
When you do this, you will realize that it is the little things that count. Your kids don’t care that you don’t cook gourmet meals. What they enjoy is that you make their favorite snack just the way they like.
They aren’t counting how many minutes you spent with them. No, they are giggling over the fact that you do funny voices when you read to them. There are a million different ways for you to be a good mom. You will be surprised by just how much you are getting right.
So, whenever you feel overwhelmed or on the edge of breaking down because of mom guilt, sit down and take a piece of paper. Start listing out everything you do to improve your kids’ lives. This should help to perk you up pretty quickly.
These are all the ways you can kick mom guilt to the curb. Remember, these changes aren’t going to happen overnight – mom guilt may have been with you for quite a while. However, if you work on it, you will find it easier to tune out all those negative voices. This will be good for you and your kids, guaranteed.
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