By Jasmine Anderson
Dating is not easy for everyone but if you’re an introvert, it might be even harder for you to get out there and meet someone. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be shy, which is a trait often mistakenly attributed to all introverted people, you can still feel overwhelmed with the dating scene. So, what is a gay introvert supposed to do? Keep on reading for some dating tips.
Know your type
Before you put yourself out there, you should know your type. Sure, dark-haired or blond and skinny or curvy can play a big role, but we’re talking about figuring out whether you want an introverted or extroverted person. On the one hand, maybe you’d have more in common with an introverted person as they will already understand where you are coming from. On the other hand, dating an extrovert might be better if you prefer outgoing people who are fine with doing all the socializing.
Look for a date in different places
If you’re not a person that frequents gay clubs or someone that would just walk up to a cute person and get their number, it can be hard to meet someone. However, that should not stop you as there are various ways to meet someone. While many use Tinder and HER as a way to find a quick hookup, if you accurately represent yourself in the bio section, what’s to say that you can’t find a meaningful connection there? You can even use gay online dating sites to find someone who understands you for you. What is more, texting for a while might make the face-to-face meeting a lot easier. Alternatively, you can turn to gay matchmaking services who could find a potential match for you. By getting to know their clients and what they are looking for, these companies bring together people who are looking for a long, monogamous relationship.
Be honest about your shyness
Seeing as how introverted and shy people often unintentionally come across as cold and uninterested, you should be upfront about your shyness from the first date. This will make it a lot easier for both of you. However, do make an effort to be engaged in conversation.
Focus on your body language
Regardless of whether you disclose your shyness or not, you have to be mindful of your body language. If you keep your hands in your pockets or you’re slouching, not only will your brain release anxiety-related hormones and make you stressed out but your date might also think that you are not interested. Instead, try a power pose, such as putting your hands on your hips, as that can release chemicals related to confidence.
Use your listening skills to your advantage
If you are a good listener, use this skill to your advantage. Most people like being validated and listening to what they have to say is a great way to accomplish that. You will show that you are interested in what they have to say and that will make you much more attractive.
Don’t be afraid to ask thought-provoking questions
In addition to listening, you should also be asking questions to show that you want to know more about the person you are on a date with. For example, ask open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions. The latter can result in awkward pauses in the conversation. By asking open-ended questions, you are allowing the discussion to flow naturally. What is more, a lot of introverts despise small talk so don’t be afraid to ask thought-provoking questions.
Choose a place or activity that will resonate with you
Finally, when deciding what you will do or where you will go, pick a place that suits your sensibilities. For instance, instead of going to a crowded gay bar, consider going to a museum or some sort of exhibition where it’s a bit quieter and you are not supposed to talk much.
Just because you are introverted, it doesn’t mean that you can’t date and find that special someone. Take our tips into consideration and good luck!
About the Author
Jasmine Anderson is a lifestyle blogger based in Australia. She is an incurable daydreamer, who finds inspiration in little, everyday moments. Spending time at her cozy home office with her two cats, writing her blog, is her favorite thing in the world. Follow her @AnderonJess_AJ
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