If you listen to your friends, everyone is having a ton of amazing sex (almost) on a daily basis. Such claims will make you feel somewhat inadequate, especially if the passion in your own relationship has subsided over the years.
There is, however, a huge difference between the stories people tell and the actual reality. Sexless marriages and long-term relationships are probably a lot more common than we think. Some studies suggest that as many as 20 percent of couples could be having such a relationship. The exact number is very difficult to verify since most people wouldn’t admit to having whatsoever no sex.
The reality, however, is easy to understand. Even sex can get boring after a while, especially if partners stop putting some effort into diversifying the routine.
Do you feel like the passion’s gone? Have you gone to enjoying sex once per month at most? Recognizing the problem is a very important first step towards making things better. Now that you know there’s an issue in need of addressing, here are some of the sexy ways to bring passion back into the bedroom.
Initiate Sex More Often
In time, you’ve probably gotten used to less sex. Chances are that you’ve stopped initiating intimacy, especially if your partner has a history of turning you down.
While getting in the habit of initiating intimacy more often can be difficult, it’s essential for the restoration of passion. Some sexy flirtation, cuddling or a bit of foreplay can be a nice precursor to an amazing night.
Talk to your partner about them initiating, as well. In the beginning, this may seem awkward (especially if you’ve been together for several years already). In time, however, your sexual appetites will start returning. Just trust the process and stick with it!
Strengthen the Chemistry Once Again
Chemistry or the so-called sparks will sooner or later start fading away. Very few lucky people find themselves tremendously drawn to their partner year after year. For everyone else, chemistry has to be nurtured.
There are simple ways you can do to strengthen the chemistry.
Eye contact with your partner is exceptionally important, especially eye contact that tells them you find them exceptionally sexy.
Start holding hands more often. Kiss each other in the morning and before falling asleep. Try a public makeout session. It will get you feeling silly like teenagers but also incredibly aroused.
Affectionate touch, flirtatious text messages and building the tension throughout the day can all deliver amazing results. And all of these things are so easy to do. A little bit of effort will go a long way, especially if you are consistent.
Don’t Be Afraid of Trying Out New Sexy Stuff
Some people feel threatened by sex toys and accessories aimed at a bit of bedroom fun. They worry that a vibrator or a dildo is eventually going to replace them. If you’re one of these people, you’re missing on a huge opportunity to make sex more exciting than ever before.
Toys add diversity to your sexual routine. Obviously, new stuff is exciting. You don’t need to go for the kinkiest toys in order to experience that effect. Adult toys like dildos for strap on, bullet vibrators and other sex toys for couples can all be brought into your relationship. Start out small to find out what you like. Eventually, you’ll find yourself drawn to certain accessories and eager to explore more.
If you have specific fantasies, do share these with your partner. The more unique toy types are unlikely to come up naturally in conversation, so if you have your heart set on a dragon dildo, the best thing you can do is speak about that openly and see where it leads.
Work on Your Sexual Confidence
Very often, the reason for passion loss is hidden inside you. Do seek out the reason for the diminished intimacy. Chances are that you’ll reach a very enlightening conclusion.
As we age, our bodies and sexualities change. If you feel that you’ve lost some of your confidence, seek a way to make things better. Getting naked in front of your partner should be a pleasure and not a threat. Perceiving such interactions as threatening or embarrassing isn’t going to help you bring the passion back.
Your self-confidence can be difficult to regain. Still, there are things you can do to make things better. Stand in front of the mirror and observe your naked body. Point out the positives and appreciate your curves. Exercise, start a healthy routine, do some mindfulness exercises. If you need to, seek out the help of a therapist or a personal coach. Investing in a better state of mind is a definite investment in relationship happiness.
Let Go of Resentment and Expectations
Disappointment often stems from preconceived notions of what sex should be. Letting go of these preconceived notions will reduce the pressure to perform or get intimate on a schedule. Chances are that you’ll feel much more liberated and eager to explore.
Sex isn’t just limited to penetrative intercourse. A sensual massage, petting, mutual masturbation, hour-long foreplay sessions can all be much more satisfying. Find out what works well for yourself and your partner. Don’t be afraid of trying something new. Such experiences are only going to be enlightening and enriching.
Make Your Partner Feel Good
Just like you should work on your own confidence, it’s imperative to get your partner in the right state of mind for some passion.
When was the last time you told them they’re beautiful? When was the last time you had a little gift for your soul mate (without an occasion and just because)?
Making your partner feel appreciated and sexual is going to maximize their libido. A simple compliment can do amazing things, bringing the spark back in their eyes. You don’t have to go out of your way or spend a ton of money on making your significant other feel appreciated.
Good sex and passion aren’t just about the act itself. They involve trust and intimacy. Working on these two things through effective communication will inevitably impact your sex lives, as well. What matters now is starting this changing journey. Even if you only make a few steps in the right direction, you’ll experience some notable improvements in the bedroom.
