How to Balance Being a Mother with Who You Used to Be

woman and children taking photo

If there is one thing that’s blatantly obvious about being a mother it’s that it changes your life in every way. But along the way, you’ll find yourself at odds with who you are, especially when you think about who you used to be. You may find that once upon a time you were a social butterfly, but now you just don’t have the time to do the things you enjoyed. Additionally, the physical changes make you completely question your body image, as well as being a mother limiting your sense of freedom, and all of these issues are well before we throw in the fact that being a parent is exhausting. Trying to be the person that you want may be about rediscovering who you are, but also bringing something new to the table. Here are some things that you can do to help yourself. 

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Make Yourself Proud To Look in the Mirror

If there’s one thing that you can do that gives you complete control over who you are, it’s how you style yourself. Many parents think there is no point in doing their makeup or their hair because it may get covered in something in a matter of hours! But for those who think like this, the perspective that you need to operate with should be about making yourself look good so you have that sense of pride in yourself. It can be about certain clothes, a quick browse at the Hometown Heritage boutique could give you some amazing inspiration so you can feel better about yourself. 

It could also be about out looking at yourself and either coming to terms with little imperfections or figuring out ways to highlight your attributes. The fact is that as we get older, we’re all facing a battle with our weight. But one of the best things we can do if we feel that everything we wear is too frumpy or not showing ourselves off is to get the help of a tailor. They can always bring things in and ensure that we always look our best, which is a simple thing that makes a big difference as we get older. 

Take Care of Yourself

It sounds like a no-brainer, but self-neglect is one of the most common issues because we start to neglect ourselves in favor of what we think the family needs from us. When we start to think like this, slowly our sense of importance goes way down the pecking order, but it also has a detrimental effect on our mental and physical health. If you don’t feel you have time to exercise which has numerous benefits for the mind and body, you are not just viewing yourself as unimportant, but you’re also making sure that you’re not giving your best to the family. When you ignore what you need, you aren’t operating at your best so everyone suffers. 

The only way to give the best of yourself to your family is to make sure you are looking after yourself and the reality is that it doesn’t take a lot of time. If you feel that time is a problem, look at the things that you can do in really short bursts. Whether it’s doing a quick round of breathing exercises while waiting for the kettle to boil, or performing isometric bicep curls at the traffic lights, it’s amazing what you can complete in a very minuscule space of time! 

Schedule Alone Time

Picking the same day and time every week (and being protective of this time) allows you to reflect on your life and what you want your life to look like. A small break every week allows you to refresh and step away from being a mom. So even when you come back to the kids, you will be instantly better. It also allows everyone else to miss you and realize what you do for them! 

Stop Comparing

Being the person you want to be can feel like it’s about finding the people on your Instagram feed that seem to have it all and emulating what you think they have. The fact is that if you want to be content in every part of your life, you need to switch off the comparison game instantly. It’s something that we hear so much about, but in addition to this, you’ve also got to avoid looking back on what your life used to be like. There are, no doubt, parts of your life you would like to have back now. But motherhood has changed you, which means that the old you have been replaced by someone far wiser. 

If you’ve been able to see friends and conversations seem strained or even a waste of your time, you have got to ask yourself if becoming a different person actually warrants having these friendships in your life. Being friends with someone else who doesn’t have children may mean they might not understand why you cannot text back instantly. But rather than thinking that it’s you that’s the problem, you’ve just got to remember that you’ve become a different version of yourself. You just have to remember that hanging on to what you used to be like is unhealthy but it also doesn’t achieve anything. Giving your new version of yourself a little bit more leeway and care will ensure you can navigate future trials and tribulations. 

There’s a lot to unravel here, and we’ve got to think that when we are trying to be the person that we want when we are busy parents there are a lot of things that have changed, especially if you’re trying to reclaim some of your old life, but you also need to have that self-respect to realize that you are worth it. So many parents don’t think that they are worth it because they’ve got into the rut of looking after everyone else. And while there is no doubt that motherhood changes you, the solution is about redefining who you are despite all of the responsibilities that have come along with children.

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