When it comes to sex tips, it’s tempting to look to visual guides, such as p*rn, for sex tips which may help you improve your prowess. After all, you want to set yourself apart from those who came before you, or perhaps simply set the bar a little higher and make yourself unforgettable. Whatever your reason for looking for lesbian sex tips, you are likely looking for something fresh and unique. While p*rn could offer you some ideas on what to touch and how, the reality of accomplishing such techniques will likely take practice and commitment from both partners. So let’s look at five lesbian sex tips you won’t learn from p*rn…or anywhere else, for that matter.
Psychology Is Sexy
It’s really easy to want to know if there’s a new erogenous zone, an earth shattering new toy, or a new way to touch your partner that will send them over the moon. But the truth is, sex is a rush of feel-good chemical reactions. So the first thing you have to realize is that what you really want to know is how to create those delicious arousal chemicals that make for the most magnificent of human experiences. The best way to do that is to realize that sex is both a mental and physical experience. Which means that the very first thing you need to know is that you aren’t just looking to “turn her on,” you’re actually looking to put her into an altered state of consciousness so she will be receptive to your touch. But how?
Pre-Game Fun
Humans are such similar creatures. The experience of arousal creates a similar chemical reaction in all of our brains. But even though the chemicals are similar, how individuals experience intimacy is different every time. This is because you and your lover are never quite the same as you were the previous day. So, our second sex tip you won’t find in p*rn is to keep in mind that it is the experiences you share between the intimate moments that will help create your next intimate experience.
You want to ensure that you and your partner are nurturing and strengthening your admiration and trust for one another, outside of the bedroom. Of course, open communication, unrestricted dialogue, and noticing one another’s likes and dislikes are all ways to build intimacy. But you can also take more time to get to know your partner better, and know yourself better, by asking questions which will help you understand the life experiences that made you both uniquely who you are today. This is how you build the trust which is necessary for true intimacy. Then, when it comes time to shut out the outside world, the intimacy you will experience will be infinitely more personal and your trusted touch will create the most unique, and breathtaking surrender.
Set the Scene
When the mind is relaxed, brain waves begin to shift to alpha. This is a state of relaxation where the body and the mind are relaxed and receptive. This is why it is the best first step of foreplay to begin slowing down the mind, for both your lover and yourself. You can always practice meditation together, and there are plenty of “erotic meditations” from which you can choose. The key is to set the scene for intimacy by removing distractions — turn off the TV, put phones in a different room, create a new, less distracting focal point, turn on some soothing music or mood lighting, or just slip into something more comfortable. Take the time to understand that the type of sex you’re looking for isn’t achieved quickly. It’s a process, and a very worthy one.
Don’t Forget The Basics
While we have been taking a psychological approach to our sex tips, it’s important that you don’t forget the basics. Your touch is not only the messenger of pleasure, but also the receiver. Your partner will respond to your touch, giving you subtle cues as to what they like and what they don’t like. Be sure to focus, block out any distraction, and give your lover your undivided attention so you can give her more of what she wants.
One Last Thing
The truest measure of a great, transcendent sexual experience is to remember that we are all responsible for our own pleasure. Your lover will respond to your touch in a way which will guide you to their pleasure, and your body will respond to touching your lover in a way which will drive you to your pleasure. It’s important to remember that while you want to give your lover a beautiful experience, you are also having an experience that you want to remember, as well. Do not be greedy, but do not deny yourself either. This is your experience, as well as theirs. This moment may be fleeting, but it will be a moment you are not likely to forget anytime soon.
Article by Ashlee Moore
About Ashlee
Ashlee Moore is an illustrator, writer, and editor from Portland, OR. Her passion for creating content that’s both sex positive and LGBTQIA+-centric drives the majority of her visual and literary storytelling. Currently, she lives in Philadelphia, where she works as a content strategist.
