13 Signs You’re Too Old To Trick-Or-Treat

Halloween is just for kids… Or is it? We love trick-or-treating as much as anyone, but there are a few moments in every twenty-something’s Halloween where you have to stop and think, “Am I too old for this?”


1. Your costume options included “slutty” anything.
2. You’ve tried a candy-corn flavored alcoholic drink.
3. You get weirdly excited about those neighbors who give out pocket change, because bills.
4. You’re about ten inches taller than everyone else.
5. You’re the same height as the little kid’s parents.
6. You’re more interested in the calorie content of the candy than how tasty it is.
7. You deliberately get a masked costume so no one will know how old you actually are
8. People refuse to give you candy. My mom won’t give treats to anyone older than 15.
9. You have a child, said child is crying, while you and the other new neighborhood dads are going door-to-door with shot glasses under the guise of “taking the kids trick or treating.” (True story.)
10. Parents usher their children across the street to avoid walking past you.
11.You’re old enough to drive a car to get your own damn candy
12. You’re washing your candy down with beer.
13. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT!! Adult trick or treating is way more fun! You get candy and alcohol.


What are your best twenty-something Halloween moments? Tweet us @LitDarling or comment below!

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