This Week in Awkward: 10/11


While perhaps not as embarrassing as our Halloween costumes from last week, our weeks were less a case of “look away while you still can” and more a few bad instances of Murphy’s Law. And believe us, if you put a LD writer in public, the law of nature dictates that something awkward will inevitably occur. So enjoy your weekly dose of awkward!


I was at an event taking photos for the publication I work for, and one of the main acts was a group of female jazz dancers. Their performance was an attempt at sultry and sensual in the most awkward of ways—instead of smooth, their movements were jerky and sharp, and half of them didn’t look into it at all. Really, their performance didn’t fit into the mood of the event. As I looked around at the viewers, and most were sad-looking, balding, paunchy men who were sort of eyeing the awkward dancers hungrily. It was really weird and embarrassing for the dancers and I just opted to skip any and all photo ops and got outta there quick.


I was talking to my parents explaining about this new (well, old but new for me) TV show I started watching and my mum mentioned an actor. Excitedly I go, “Ohh, is he the one on [TV show]?” My mom, of course, asks what he looks like. “He’s the bald guy with long hair!” I exclaim. It takes me about 10 seconds to realize what I’ve said, and by this time my parents and brother are all laughing hysterically at me.


This week, my fiance’s dad was in England so, for the first time, he got to come and meet my family. As we were welcoming him and his girlfriend into the house, we introduced my six-year-old nephew—along with one of our cats, who we suspect is pregnant. Of course, this was the perfect time for little Oliver to chirp up, “Why is Cleo having kittens?” Cue much embarrassed umm-ing and ahh-ing from my dad, who eventually said, “Well, Cleo found herself a boyfriend”. Fortunately, Ollie was content with this explanation and we avoided having Ollie’s first “birds and bees” conversation in front of my future father-in-law.


It had been a very long week for me. Between midterms, a fried laptop and almost projectile vomiting on my professor (don’t worry, I missed by a few feet) I had really ramped myself up to ultimate panic level. Finally, it seemed like things were going my way and the heavens were smiling on me again. I had some free time, so I decided to go to Starbucks and do my reading. I ordered my Chai and apple fritter, and no sooner do I go to sit down than my drink knocks over and spills all over the floor and the very sweet grandmother next to me. I was so flustered that I had to move all the way across the room, never reordered my Chai, and forgot about the apple fritter I paid for until about three hours later.


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