Hermit Life Forever: Ode To Being An Introvert


If you haven’t noticed, the writers of Literally, Darling are by and largely introverts. We like sitting around without pants reading a book generally more than going out and socializing, and from what we’ve heard from our readers, many of you fall into the same boat. That’s why we decided to just call a spade a spade, and admit to our hermit lifestyles and tell our introverted tales.

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Hermit Status: Likes Dogs More Than People

I will choose sleep and/or Netflix over pretty much anything. Go out? Why? I have the world at my fingertips. Between Tumblr, Twitter, books, Netflix, napping and pizza delivered right to my door, why would I EVER leave my apartment?! My friends sadly know that when I say I can’t go out to dinner or dancing, it’s most likely not because “I’m so tired from work,” like I might say. It’s because they are not as fulfilling as my hermit life at home with my dogs. Also, I don’t really like people. So staying in achieves my life long goal of avoiding them. My dream man is not one who takes me on romantic, whirlwind date nights, but rather one who will watch a whole TV series from beginning to end in one sitting. Say it loud, say it proud: HERMITS 4 EVA.


Hermit Status: Married A Fellow Introvert

Being a hermit doesn’t mean you need to be one alone. I married a hermit and together we love hermity things :) Best date ever? Chinese/Afghan/Indian delivery, Craft Beer and a “Firefly”/”Battlestar Galactica”/”Castle”/”Doctor Who” marathon. Every now and again we’ll mix it up with some Civ 5 or MTG. Bars are loud and full of drunk frat guys or beer-bellied sports fans. Going to a movie? Way too expensive! We tried making new friends—and really it’s just too much drama. We’re content with our awesome group of fellow hermits who enjoy a night of “Cards Against Humanity” and gushing about geeky things (shout out to Katie, Hope, and guest writers Dennis & Cassidy).


Hermit Status: Reformed Extrovert

I used to consider myself an extrovert. I mean: I can turn on the charm like the best of ‘em and, on a good day, I can be the life of the party. But I’m a social “spoonie.” I can mingle and laugh and smile for a good few hours, but my batteries wear out quick and when my energy starts waning… well, you won’t like me when I’m angry, put it that way. So to avoid scary, Hulkish, social-overexposure-induced strops, I have embraced the hermit life. I go out of my way to avoid fellow smokers on my cig breaks at work. I work out at 5 a.m. when the gym is a desolate wasteland. Nose down, avoid eye contact, engage “resting bitch face.” Heck, I’d grow prickles if it meant I could keep people off me when I didn’t want to talk to anyone. This way, when I do need to paste on a friendly facade, I have the facilities to do so. Gotta keep that social yin and yang in check, innit.



Hermit Status: Overwhelmed Introvert

As a college student, I am surrounded by people constantly. If there are too many people at home, my options are to study at a coffee shop full of people sipping coffee and chatting or to go to a library full of people sipping coffee and rustling. When I shower in the morning, someone is always brushing their teeth at the sink. When I eat dinner at night, there are at least half a dozen people sharing the table. I have two (wonderfully kind and considerate) roommates who fall asleep and wake up beside me. There is literally no time when I’m completely alone. The switch from a quiet life as an only child to the non-stop buzz of a college town has definitely been challenging at times. O hermit life! I miss you so.


Hermit Status: Exhausted by Humanity

Someone once told me that being an introvert is like starting your day as a balloon full of air and as your day progresses, with each interaction, your balloon is letting out air. At the end of the day you are a deflated little piece of rubber and you need to go home, to silence, to inflate again. That is me, completely. At the end of the day I am deflated from phone calls, emails, meetings, conference calls and random annoyances from driving with the rest of the world. The only cure is cooking, DVR and pants that are not acceptable in public. Dogs are optional, but apparently they live in the same house as me. When I do get out, I am always focused on my friends, the people I know. I like to sit in small tables in the corner, talk about real things with people I love. I am not the girl at the bar introducing herself to everyone and I have perfected the “I am not one for small talk” face to anyone who would considering introducing themselves to me. One too many glasses of wine and I can make my way to the dance floor though…


Hermit Status: One Part Social, Nine Parts Cat Lady

On the spectrum where the absolutes of introverts and extroverts are on opposite ends, I’ve moved a tiny bit closer to extrovert from my cozy introvert corner—read, amazing progress for yours truly. I tally up my “being social” outings at the end of the week, and if I count one, give myself a pat on the back (P.S. video chatting counts as “being social” in my book—ssshhh). More than one social outing means I’m exhausted at the end of the week and really just want to hole up in my apartment (a.k.a. the Hermitage, with a capital H), eat pancakes, watch Netflix or read a book, and snuggle with my cats while spelunking through social media. I love that on Friday and Saturday evenings, while the extroverts are out on the town, the introverts are on social media and messaging systems “doing the bonding.”

I’m a dietetic intern this semester, and thus I am around people ALL day during the weekdays, and I sometimes feel that I spend a lot of my time dashing around hospitals muttering under my breath about how much I hate people. Don’t get me wrong, I love some people. But I’m a person of extremes, so I either love you, or I strongly dislike or flat-out hate you. Bonus—if you’re an animal, I love you unconditionally. For real, I have a sign hanging in my little entryway that says, “The more I get to know some people the more I like cats.”

I ADORE online shopping and Amazon Prime is my boo. All of those Buzzfeed introvert posts describe me perfectly. I lug books around with me everywhere and will NOT be the one that turns to you in the grocery store line to randomly chat with you. I frequently lament with my other introvert friends that we can’t just run away to the mountains and live in a Hermitage cabin with a huge library and lots of cats. I could go on, because I often think of all the things I would rather be doing than interacting with people IRL (in real life), but I won’t for your sanity’s sake—be grateful.


Hermit Status: Possibly a Shut-In

I work from home predominantly, most of my friends are spread out across the country so we interact  online, I communicate with my sister at college generally via text messaging, and when I need to relax I go to a deserted shore, a lonely mountain, or a very quiet field with a book. I’m so much of a hermit I might legitimately be approaching a shut-in. And while admittedly it does little for expanding my social or romantic repertoires, the thought of actively working to meet people is so overwhelmingly exhausting that I generally reject the idea in its entirety. That’s not to say around folks I miraculously did make friends with that I’m not loud, boisterous, bossy, and exceedingly opinionated. I can be very extroverted around a small group of people, nor am I scared of public speaking, but going into large cities or attending concerts makes me have to remind myself, “You are not allowed to rain down fire and brimstone just because there are people in your personal space bubble.” For me the perfect public activity is a book store. People there are generally looking to do their own thing, but we can all be doing it together. It’s the perfect social experience.

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