I wasn’t always bold and brash. And it took me being single and learning how to date again to become just that, and so much more. But let’s start with the fact that dating sucks. It’s hard and stressful and someone is literally judging you throughout your conversation. Not to mention all the complete and utter powerlessness. There have been so many times where dating made feel like the opposite of bold and brash. I’d over analyze everything the guys said to me, when they said it, and why they said it.
Dating apps have been a huge way for me to reclaim my autonomy as a single woman. The first thing I did when I became single was to download Bumble. I felt the woman initiated conversations would be a great way for me to explore the dating scene, while avoiding most of the creeps. Bumble was amazing for me to relearn how to flirt, especially since I haven’t been single in about three years. Talking to guys is terrifying, but the fact that I got to hide behind my phone (and constantly ask my friends for advice) made it slightly easier.
Another reason why these apps are great: you get to talk to a guy and really figure out if he’s a creep before you commit to anything. Gone are the days of realizing this guy is a sociopath midway through the date. Realized you matched with a Neo-Nazi? Just unmatch! So much control! Very safe!
Dating apps truly unlocked the bold and brash side of me. Matching with a guy was always such a confidence boost. Why not message him first? So what if he thinks I’m too forward or he isn’t into me? I literally will never meet him or see him again. I have nothing to lose and omg that’s such a relief.
You don’t become bold and brash overnight. You need to work yourself up to feeling like a confident bad ass woman and sometimes you can’t get that from your friends. No matter how many times they tell you that your brows are fleek and your body is fire, it’s just not quite the same as getting that little buzz saying someone has swiped right on you. Yes, it sucks that we rely on verification from others, but you can’t help what you need.
We can’t help what makes us feel better when we feel so small. And we shouldn’t feel bad for embracing the activities which help us feel bolder and bigger. So go forth and Bumble my friends. Swipe right to your heart’s desire. And then tell me all about the guys you matched with because I wanna trade stories!!
Be Bold. Be Brash.
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