Moving in together can be a uniquely stressful experience. Even the healthiest relationships get put under some strain when it comes time to converge lifestyles, property, vehicles, pets, habits, and the various big and small items we all inevitably accumulate over a lifetime.
Merge into equality
Most couples merge houses by having one partner move into the other’s home. It’s simple and convenient, but approach it with caution to avoid envy or resentment later on. The chosen home is your shared space, with equal ownership.
The practical way to arrange this is to sign a new lease together. Take into account the expiration dates of your respective leases and coordinate a move-in date accordingly. Then renew the lease together, ensuring joint responsibility and security. If it’s an owned home, put both of your names on the deed.
Additionally, it’s essential to plan the moving process itself, whether it’s a local or long-distance move. Discuss the furniture, appliances, and decor you each plan to contribute, items to store, and those you might jointly purchase. Merging homes is the ideal chance to downsize, declutter, and get a fresh start.
Consider different perspectives
Sometimes moving into one of your existing homes isn’t a good option, and finding a whole new space would be better. Take the opportunity to consider different accommodations than what you’re used to.
Many couples decide to forgo further renting and purchase a house of their own. Others flip the script, sell their property, and become renters for increased flexibility. Still, others completely discard a fixed home and decide to go mobile, becoming modern-day nomads.
Finances tend to be the biggest factor here, so make sure you’re on the same page regarding budgeting. For instance, buying an average flat in Addison and furnishing it from scratch might turn out pricier than already equipped and furnished luxury apartments in a generally more affordable location, like San Antonio.
It’s all about cost-efficiency in the long run. Your investment returns more than a new home: it also determines how quickly you can move, how comfortably you’ll live going forward, what support systems you’ll have access to, and so much more.
Be patient
Patience and tolerance are the cornerstones of a successful move-in with your significant other. While it may feel overwhelming at times, remember that the whole stress and strain of the process is temporary. Focus on the bigger picture and recognize that the challenges are part of the path to a stronger bond.
Common points of conflict include career changes, job hunting, arranging care for elderly family members, changing social circles, potential family planning, settling pets, and even hobby space. These are especially prominent between partners who were long-distance.
For instance, if one of you is in Miami, and the other from Billings, both will have to make drastic adjustments. Communication is key here. Be transparent and strive for a balanced middle ground so that both sides feel seen, listened to, supported, and valued.
Maintain boundaries
Even as a couple who lives together, your partner and you are still individual adults. Don’t slip into the trap of blurring the lines between your personalities. Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential to constructive communication and life together.
Here are some examples of healthy boundaries to set:
- Encourage individual autonomy instead of codependency
- Respect your differences of opinion, emotions, etc.
- Take responsibility for your impact on the relationship
- Express gratitude for each other’s contributions and efforts
- Practice honesty and openness
- Respect each other’s comfort/discomfort levels
- Practice consent
When there’s a clear sense of where you’re both coming from, it’s much easier to navigate any conflicts that arise along the way. The point is to acknowledge each other as equals in every aspect of the relationship.
Plan for fallout
It’s unpleasant to discuss during an exciting time like moving in together, but addressing the possibility of a breakup is crucial in establishing transparency, setting expectations, and protecting both parties’ interests if things don’t work out.
Keep your personal finances separate and create a joint checking account to manage shared expenses. Discuss the division of property and the terms of the lease or deed in case of a breakup. Decide who keeps which furniture, who needs to leave the home, what to do with jointly owned assets, and what happens with the security deposit or the shared mortgage.
You might want to have an attorney draft an amicable agreement that can hold up in court. Preparations like these will spare you both a lot of pain. Even if a relationship ends, it doesn’t have to be a bitter mess. And if it persists and prospers, your partner will know that you don’t shy away from tough discussions – that you’re someone they can count on through thick and thin.
In conclusion, while moving in together can be stressful, there are tactics for keeping your relationship strong. Consider different perspectives, strive for equality, and be patient and tolerant as you both adjust. Maintain healthy boundaries and plan together for handling a breakup. These steps promote transparency, understanding, and long-term relationship success.
Article by Sophia Smith
