A Queer-Positive Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Safer Sex

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Sex is a natural human behavior that’s been shrouded in secrecy and shame for most of history. Western society’s historically cis and heteronormative bias hasn’t helped, either. But today, LGBTQ+ people have taken their place in the human socio-sexual matrix, necessitating a sexual health response that includes everyone.

The truth is that human sexuality follows certain patterns that play out across the wide spectrum of who we are in bed and in life. And along that spectrum, these familiar sexual practices are enhanced by nuance and preference. Identity and sexuality don’t determine the sexual acts we choose, as these acts are profoundly human. They’re not privatized to any given gender or sexuality. For example, some cishet men like to be anally penetrated. Anal sex is not “gay” any more than fellatio is. It’s just sex.

Everyone has the right to practice the version of sexuality that pleases and satisfies them. Below, we’re going to talk about sexual pleasure as a holistic health need and about safer sex that protects you physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Prioritize Your Physical & Emotional Health

In the USA alone, 12 million people are diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infections each year. However, there are effective ways to reduce chances of contact with them, namely condoms and dental dams. Use them, get tested regularly, and show yourself the love you deserve. Always remember that not everyone knows their sexual health status. Anyone can have and contract an STI, so always make your sexual health a priority and make healthy decisions your first love ⏤ you.

Making healthy decisions also includes watching out for any major red flags in a new partner or love interest. Secrets that may initially be kept from you by a potential partner or romantic interest are tendencies like coercive control or physical and emotional abuse. Don’t kid yourself. Everyone’s vulnerable ⏤ not just cishet couples. Your best defense is an awareness of red flags. Heed them. Don’t be a victim of other people’s issues.

Make Sex Toys Your Playmates

Sexual pleasure is a component of overall health. A positive outlook about your sexuality is an indicator of how well you feel in your own skin. A fulfilling sex life contributes to that sense of wellbeing.

Sex is a kaleidoscope full of twists, turns, surprises, and revelations. And there’s no better way to experience that kaleidoscopic variety than with adult sex toys! These brilliant allies add the thrill of novelty to the festivities, freeing you to explore your partner’s body and your own, differently. If orgasms are sometimes elusive, look no further than these helpful playmates.

Boost Your Pheromone Output

While sexual pleasure is available to all ⏤ with a partner or solo ⏤ those looking to hook up are sometimes frustrated in their efforts. The sexual landscape can be intimidating, with added challenges for genderqueer people.

Let your body start the conversation with pheromone products. The magical elixir of human attraction can and has been bottled. In concentrations to alert nearby possibilities that you’re the one they’re craving, you never know who’ll receive the urgent message these products send. Take your pick!

Increase Penile Sensitivity

Nobody likes to talk about an intermittently unresponsive penis. But it happens. The penis can be a moody beast, losing sensation at inopportune moments for many reasons. The good news is that the problem can be addressed with simple shifts in behavior.

Penile insensitivity can stem from sitting for prolonged periods, frequent masturbation, and even using too much lube for solo play or intercourse. Take stock of your habits and lifestyle, do a tweak here and there, and soon, your penis will be back to its happy, reliable self!

Talk is a Four-Letter Word

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Without a doubt, “talk” is the sexiest four-letter word. But most of us are reluctant to talk to our partners about sex. Talking about your desires and needs with your lover is a strong indicator of mutual respect and self-esteem.

Discussing sex with your partner may be a little scary. But without talking about it, you’re missing out on the good stuff. So, talk about sex. Tell them about your needs and ask about theirs. Mind reading is a rare gift most of us don’t have, so open communication is a must!

Everyone deserves the glow that comes from a fulfilling sex life. People of all sexualities and gender identities can benefit from basic advice that helps improve their wellbeing while keeping them safe. You deserve all those things. May your sex life be joyful, fulfilling, and endlessly thrilling!

Article by Ashlee Moore

About Ashlee

Ashlee Moore is an illustrator, writer, and editor from Portland, OR. Her passion for creating content that’s both sex positive and LGBTQIA+-centric drives the majority of her visual and literary storytelling. Currently, she lives in Philadelphia, where she works as a content strategist.

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